I cannot recall a single signature dish from my mom's kitchen. Cooking was neither her nor my dad's forte. Instead, my grandmothers were the culinary experts. They made the dishes I remember from my childhood. And when it comes to recalling who was seated at the table where those dishes were served, I can see my whole family.

That moment, of eating all together at the table, is called commensality.

Social eating: what we eat is just as important as how we eat it

Eating is a primary biological function that nourishes us and sustains life. But when shared, it becomes a deeply social activity, allowing us to connect with others. Commensality is a social practice that involves sharing food and experiences while eating. These moments are critical in shaping our personal and cultural identities, creating spaces where we can tell anecdotes and experience cultural transmission firsthand.

The human connection: why eating together is more than just sharing a meal

Food has reunited people across the globe for generations. As humans, we’ve been practicing commensality since the beginning of our time, and it was a key factor in our evolution - we needed cooperation to survive. One of the first hints of this can be traced to an ancient fireplace discovered in Murcia, Spain. Archaeological research revealed how early humans would gather around the fire, sharing whatever animal they had hunted. These meals not only fed us but also built trust and alliances that ensured our collective survival.

Communal meals also offered spaces for power dynamics and knowledge exchange. The Ancient Greeks did this perfectly during their "symposiums"—male-only drinking parties that were not merely about consumption but about constructing social hierarchies, discussing philosophy, and cementing political alliances.

Legends, too, speak of communal eating. For example, King Arthur’s Round Table symbolized equality and promoted trust, with conversation flowing freely around the circle. The same dynamics occur when we gather around a bonfire or during modern team-building meetings.

Former NBA Coach Gregg Popovich applied this principle to build a strong bond among his San Antonio Spurs players. By eating and drinking together, Popovich created a solid team identity, a cohesion among team members that went on to win five NBA titles.

Throughout history, various cultures have used commensality to unite people for political, spiritual, or celebratory purposes. Religious and cultural traditions have long recognized the significance of it. Leonardo da Vinci’s depiction of The Last Supper immortalizes this. Even today, we gather around food for occasions like Christmas, where shared meals create lasting memories.

Fests are intrinsically connected with social eating. Historically, farmers would get together yearly for Harvest Festivals with foods that were drawn from crops. The Celtic Samhain, for instance, marked the end of the harvest season and the beginning of winter. Over time, this celebration evolved into Halloween. In some cultures, the social experience of sharing food is used to reunite people among the living, but also beyond it. The Day of the Dead in Mexico involves preparing dishes the deceased enjoyed and offering them on altars as a way to honour their memory.

Digital age dining: how technology is transforming communal eating

We now live in an era of digital commensality.

Broader access to technology and radical global events, such as the 2020 pandemic, have reshaped the way we eat and interact around food. Some may argue that posting photos of meals at a restaurant on social media is a form of “virtual” commensality.

However, when we think about eating together at a table, we are drawn to an emotional connection. We think of home, we picture smiles, we recall the voice of a loved one, we feel the warmth of the surroundings, and we even taste with our senses the food we might be sharing. Many of us won’t envision this moment seated in the hard chair of a fast food restaurant or with food delivered to our door. The growth of the food industry is also reshaping how we eat and share food.

Travelling helps to discover cultural differences, and on a recent trip I made to Spain, I noticed how bars and cafés were filled with people at all hours, talking, eating, and drinking —an ongoing ritual. Returning to North America, I felt the contrast of a more individualistic culture, where dinner reservations are timed and interactions are often rushed.

For me, commensality transcended physical space when I migrated from Argentina to Canada. During Christmas, the only opportunity I have to connect with my family is by video calling them during dinner time to erase the almost 9,000 kilometres that set us apart.

Nowadays, commensality is also affected by many other circumstances. Like uneven work/life balance, fragmented families, the increase of ultra-processed foods in our diets, and screen time dissociating us from reality. These factors contribute to our increasing isolation and affect the ways we eat and socialize.

Reflecting on those childhood meals my grandmothers prepared, I realize that commensality is more than just sharing food, it is a way to rebuild our lost humanity. It's about preserving connections, transmitting culture, and keeping our most precious memories alive.