Putting thoughts on paper feels like putting documents into a filing cabinet—things become clearer and make a little more sense. Put those scattered thoughts together with feelings and there’s chaos. This is my attempt at doing some long overdue filing.

I am currently reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, and it seems like the rumours are true—it is comprehensive, easy to follow, and practical. I thought it would take only a couple of days to read, but it has since turned into a kind of a long term project. It is one of those books one reads with a pen and notebook on hand and where one takes a walk after very chapter to come back from the rabbit hole it has sent one down. The second chapter speaks of different types of outcomes and how they differ. Identity outcomes is where I got stuck. Becoming the person who would achieve the goal as opposed to the pursuit of the goal itself. Change the person to change the outcomes.

During my first two years as a politics and philosophy student, I learned a lot about intersectionality, identity politics, and belief systems, but it was only much later on that these concepts really come to life. I am a young, Black woman from Soweto, a township just outside of Johannesburg, South Africa, but there are millions like me across the country—there is truly nothing unique about my background. Having said that, there aren’t any real expectations to be, have, or do much more than the next young person who comes from a community like mine. There are no real external expectations, but internally, the story is entirely different.

The community’s narrative is a poor one—one of scarce opportunity and abundant struggle. The narrative is somewhat fixed, but its meaning is open to interpretation. In fact, in many instances, any attempts to break the mould are frowned upon—perhaps the scarcity of opportunity has made success the exception rather than rule. The disapproval is due more to sadness, discontentment, and sorrow than contempt. In spaces like this, achieving goals is not only difficult because of scarcity, but because many times you’re chasing a reality you have not seen. You dream of better and that is the only lead and guiding light. It is quite literally a journey of seeing the first step, not the entire staircase.

Stories, narratives, and their meanings have been a reoccurring theme for me, through conversation, podcasts, and even Youtube videos. In a world where oversharing and comparison are the order of the day, why would anyone want to stand out? Why would one choose to be an individual when our paths are so similar? That is when I realised that no matter how similar we may be or how divergent our paths may appear, we are individuals, and that is where the beauty of our stories lie.

We have grown from where the stories we read were about the princess, the charming prince, the flying carpets, to penning the greatest stories—the stories of our own lives. The excitement and enjoyment of a book lies in the story unfolding as we turn the pages, and now turning to a new page means filling it with the writing of our own hand. The holder of the pen directs the narrative, dictates how history is recorded—and holding the pen means holding the power.

But what happens when the story is not going according to plan? What happens when there are disruptions and pains and pitfalls? What happens when we don’t feel like the leading lady/gentleman of our story? I’ve learned that when we hold something too tightly, it can slip out of our hands—the same applies to the pen. Distractions and disruptions bring discouragement that can either lead to destruction and derailment or growth and development. The one spells the proverbial end of the road and the other life-long processes that shape our lives and identitites. Learning, reflecting, and experiencing all form a part of it as we transform our spirits, minds, and bodies—but for that to happen, we need to embrace the challenges, be resilient, and evolve.

The season of graduation in universities across the country is looming. This is one of the most tangible representation of stories, narratives, and meaning. It is a time of celebrating triumph of adversity, stories of the underdog, and the start of new chapters and bright futures—not just for the graduates, but also for those they represent. Universities are a melting pot of people, cultures, and backgrounds. Each student stands as a representative of a million stories, narratives, and possibilities, and crossing that stage brings them all to life—not just for the individual but for all those that came before and all those that follow. It is not the end of a story but the turning of a page, the ending of a chapter, and the beginning of a new one.