If you saw a man traveling alone, people will think that this person is strong and capable of living on their own. Traveling for men is a sign of strength, independence, and freedom. To conquer new places. Men do not need to prove themselves; traveling is seen as a natural capability. It enhances masculinity, echoing traditional roles where men moved around, hunting.

Conversely, for women, solo travel often raises questions: 'Why are you traveling alone? Don’t you have a boyfriend or husband? Kids at home? Do you know anyone in the places you are traveling to?' Answering these questions can deter solo travel, implying everyone’s concern. Often, it's assumed she travels because she lacks family responsibilities, not to explore. If you will answer all these questions, you may not go anymore. Just stay where you are. It seems that explaining your intention for traveling is like everybody’s concern. At the end of the day, people will assume 'she traveled because she has no child nor husband to take care of,' instead of 'she traveled because she wants to explore or see more of the world.'

The idea that you cannot travel alone is still a predominant concept in countries that are too conservative. I am speaking more of the context of Southeast Asia. Even if the world says that the future of travel is women. Despite global views favouring solo female travel, many believe women should travel with companions — partners or friends — for safety. This perception persists, discouraging independent travel, viewed as risky for those who see it as a journey of self-discovery or spiritual exploration. I think such conceptions are still common in countries like mine — the Philippines.

Whenever I travel solo abroad, people commonly ask, 'Where are you from? Why are you alone?' To satisfy them, sometimes I imply I'm with others, especially if I sense danger. A woman’s instinct sharpens during solo travel; heightened awareness guides her observations. This innate radar detects potential threats, distinguishing her experience.

I remember when I was in one of the hostels in Portugal, I was staying in a big room with other people. Room sharing with the other gender is common when traveling in countries in Europe. One strange-looking guy with a large eyeball asked me, 'Where are you from?' I said I came from Germany. He then replied to me, 'But you do not look German.' In my mind, I knew I was not German. He seemed surprised, but I just remained silent. He continued by asking, 'Why did you come here? Do you have a boyfriend here? What are you going to do tonight?' He had so many questions — questions that were uncomfortable to ask from stranger. He received all the silent responses from me. Instead of sleeping that night, I relocated to a different place because I felt unsafe. Swiftly departing is liberating — like a bird fleeing. This self-reliance builds strength and independence.

Getting lost in a foreign land is common. Google Maps isn't always reliable in challenging terrain. Asking people for directions and even making them use their mobiles to help you find your way will give you a feeling that this world is not full of bad people. One will realise that the world is still made up of people who are willing to help, even without receiving anything in return. I rely on people’s assistance using their mobile when my mobile is off. I think it is easy for them to help you if you are polite and sweet — not commanding, not bossy. Just a sweet, lost girl in the big, wide world.

In my experience, I prefer asking women for help along the way, trusting their empathy, especially those intelligent-looking, the kind, older women because I know that they will not let me down. This is perhaps my bias. I think I see these women as mothers or sisters, and they will be willing to help me because they maybe see me as a lost sister or a lost daughter.

On the other hand, I am also strategic in terms of who I ask for assistance. I will ask anyone if I find that the person is friendly. I will also ask if they look harmless — even if they are a man. Again, I travel most of the time using the power of my intuition. I was once lost looking for my place in Amsterdam because my accommodation was literally in the outskirt of the city. The good thing was most Dutch people spoke English. One guy that I approached helped me find my place, and he said that it was his first time allowing a stranger into his car. Normally, he did not do it. I think the chance for him to help me made me also contribute something to his life. A new experience. A chance to be of help. He felt as if he was needed, knowing that he saved someone from getting lost.

I do not know if I am the only person who always gets lost. I have been lost plenty of times in the USA because all of the places and houses look so similar — there are not many variations. Maybe I am just not good with directions — something I certainly acknowledge. Poor thing. My only take away is that getting lost is not a problem. It is part of life, to get lost, to be nowhere, to know nothing, to be empty. In return, this has made me a humble person. That I know nothing about this place. This also signals that I am in new territory, a new place, a new culture. There is nothing I need to figure out at that moment but to arrive at my direction. This is already an accomplishment. On the other side, this is also the purpose why I do not travel with a lot of things, with a lot of possessions.

Sometimes I observed that women and men travel differently. Most men only have a few things to carry, and some women travel with so many suitcases. Normally, I ask if this is their first time traveling overseas, then it makes sense that they brought a lot of things that they can find in the shop. Making decisions on what to carry or not is another thing which traveling helps you. You know what to bring and what to let go.

Sometimes I observe a lot of travellers and their suitcases. I wonder why some people seem to bring so many big bags. For me the problem is not the sheer weight of so many bags, which is obviously heavy, but I believe we travel to also to acquire new things, thus meaning we should not travel with possessions we already own. How can we acquire new stuff if we already bring everything from home? Especially for a woman, shopping is like a past time if you travel. Even if you do not have money. You can shop with your eyes, you can smell the perfume tester in the new store — this keeps you participated in this process without spending money.

I think the main reason why we travel is because we are bored of the place where we come from, and we are in search of something brand new. Everything at home is predictable — the boredom gets to a point where it almost kills us. To get out from that routine is to travel to a place we never been, to have a new sense of self, a brand new version of ourselves. Traveling alone is a humbling experience. It makes us think of ourselves like babies, like starting our small steps again, like just learning how to walk, learning how to speak. In Europe, where people speak almost three to four languages on a daily basis, it really is like learning how to speak from scratch. We ask ourselves, 'How much of what this person said do I know?' The experiences that traveling gives you will tell you that there is so much to learn out in the big, wide, world — so much knowledge to acquire.

Sometimes you rediscover your own identity while traveling. When I traveled to Sri Lanka alone, I always encountered men who asked me where I was from. When I replied, 'I am from the Philippines,' I commonly heard them reply with, 'Oh, Philippines, very nice, and the women... hmm.' They sometimes used their hands to gesture smelling a very sweet flower or a perfume. Then some would ask for my number. It was a very strange feeling.

One time, a Sri Lankan man in the bus asked me if I like to drink water or not. I said no. He said, 'You must drink water.' He bought a bottle of water for me, even though I did not instruct him to. He told me to drink it, and since I was thirsty, I drank it. I later found that that Sri Lankan man was just being courteous. To my surprise, he also drank the water after I did, confirming that his intentions were not as bad as I first thought. I then learnt that they think that most Filipina women who are in their country are prostitutes. I felt shameful knowing that that many female travellers from my country who went to Sri Lanka most probably had the same experience as I did.

I once waited around 30 minutes in Hong Kong immigration. Sometimes in such places, most people think that all Filipinos are the same, blinded by the idea that everyone fits in a box. I learned that in Hong Kong, many Overseas Filipino Workers make people assume all Filipino women there are the same. Hong Kong's central park was filled with Filipino women who felt at home, having parties, packing bags, and preparing 'pasalubong' — little gifts for families or friends back home. While preparing 'pasalubong' is a great tradition, seeing so many Filipino women in Hong Kong working hard to send them home reminded me how many are forced to leave their families and children just to fill those boxes.

As a woman, the joy of traveling alone brings encounters with unexpected strangers, especially men. You might receive a free coffee from someone who finds you beautiful, like the bus driver in Taiwan who took us to the wrong stop and bought me a coffee. Sometimes a free meal or museum entrance. Some who don't speak English may want to date you for English lessons.

Traveling is much easier now than in 1994 when I was in Kazakhstan, without Google Maps. I traveled alone by train with a dictionary to convey Russian words to those who approached me. The good thing about Kazakhstan is their generosity; they give gifts to strangers on trains. I'll never forget an old man on a train saying, 'You're alone — very brave.' I think it's because I'm a woman, daring to travel alone.

When alone, you must help yourself and engage in self-talk. Take selfies and ask locals to take your photo, like I did in Hong Kong and Switzerland, where locals even offered to retake photos if I didn't like them—a wonderful gesture. Locals often greeted me with 'Have a nice day,' making me feel at home and safe as a solo woman, temporarily belonging somewhere away from home, easing loneliness.

The more you travel alone, the more comfortable you become. You conquer fears of harm, proving you can travel alone, even if you're not wealthy. While traveling with friends or family is enjoyable, solo travel offers lessons that strengthen you as a person, whether as a woman or human, challenging your perspectives and benefiting your mind, soul, and spirit.