The exhausting nature of expectations is incredibly prevalent in anyone who fosters ambitions, dreams, and hopes. So much so that some people prefer to expect a negative outcome just so that they aren’t left deeply disappointed once it comes to fruition. A cushion to the self-prophesizing blow, as it were. At least, that’s how the negative expectation is articulated despite it being a poor diagnostic. What people are trying to say is that they are so overcome by the surprise of the disappointment they are emotionally incapable of feeling the full force. It is a defense mechanism. One that is often visible whenever a decision involving the metaphorical heart is at play. Which is why people are more comfortable clicking on the “no” option rather than selecting the “yes”. In fact, “yes” has been rebranded as “maybe.”

Living in the “maybe” is just as comforting as saying “no” because it blocks any expectations that might arise from a potential invitation. What most people are being invited to is often received with skepticism because we live in an atmosphere where personal historical baggage is just too heavy to totally and utterly dispense with. The past luggage is a reference point, for some, as a measuring stick to evaluate their present situation. It makes sense since dealing with unexpected variables that have unknown motivations and intentions takes time to understand. In some instances, we don’t have the luxury of time, which is why expectations are based on the very same baggage that is rotting in the deep recesses of our hearts.

But what of those who willingly expect the best? Life coaches and gurus endorse the notion of thinking positively with the hopeful promise that the probability of expecting what you desperately desire might one day fling your door wide open and jump into your arms. They are practicing what realists would refer to as toxic positivity. Or at least a variation of that term, which in fact promotes people to expect something because it gives them something to look forward to. The hope of a brighter future, the promise of a better tomorrow. Tomorrow and tomorrow, they love that because it is always a day away. We don’t have to deal with the “now” because we are expecting things to be far more enjoyable later. If we really focus and drive all our energy towards it. Keep us expecting and not dealing with everything that is around us.

It is incredibly challenging to not be tempted by the hand of expectation. There are times when I don’t even realize that our fingers are interlocked. And so it guides me to roads where pianos are dangling loosely in the clouds and could drop at any given moment. Even if I don’t experience a direct collision, I am often a witness to the wreckage just a few centimeters away. The “almost” disappointment where just the whiff of it has me reaching for the luggage as a shield from any more unexpected surprises. It is as though I expect to trust myself when all the signs point out that I don’t fully. At least not at this juncture.

I wonder if I’m alone, but that would be incredibly narcissistic of me. I fear some people are worse off because they aren’t aware of the signs. And if they do see them, they shrug at them due to an inability to interpret them. The good news amid all this doom is that there is always a solution. From what I could conjure, the best way is to ignore the expectations. Completely dismiss all of them and walk down the path where you accept everything and nothing. Have comfort that you will evolve with time and experience, even if the avenues are unfamiliar and daunting. However you choose to lead your life, ask yourself this: is it more rewarding to remain chained by the baggage of expectations or more liberating to dispense of them all? There are no judgments on whichever path you decide to journey on. But I encourage you to march by being sincere with yourself. Delusions from misguided expectations only serve to veer you off the path of reality.