Love is

It is for love that the whole universe sprang into existence, and it is for the sake of love that it is kept going.

(Meher Baba)

A sacred maze of galaxy, atom, and mind. Inevitably and spontaneously unfolding. A magical unknown script that we seem to write, although already written, in thoughts, emotions, physiology, mystery, battles, tragedies, joys and moments of peace. A universe seeking love. An outside inside hiding in itself. Sometimes thoughts and words freeze, and sunrises burst in the inner night, revealing the true nature of atoms, galaxies, and I.

To live is to brew up love consciousness. Free falling, I crashed, probably after a long, long evolutionary walk, slipping in some intergalactic slime, and took birth on this beautiful Earth. Upon landing, I looked around quietly in awe. Everything was so big, loving giants with voices cared for me, fairies with tender hands all around, defining and interpreting what I saw upon arrival, protecting me as I learned about life and my role in it.

As a child, I feared the monstrous hands of tree branches, scraping my room windows at night and laughed with joy opening gifts on Christmas morning. Throughout childhood, there always was an inner nostalgia for something undefined, as well as a fear of death and pain. There were also the comforting arms of a mother, and the opening of veins, as blood rushed through my growing body, afire in discovery.

I wondered what life was all about but had not much time to reflect on being, as I was constantly going. Going to school and back, learning games to play, and boundaries to respect, those hateful, blessed -and so hard to learn boundaries- that prevented the river from dissipating.

I remember my concept of God then. As explained by others, He was a puppeteer. But I felt Him as a loving presence that walked with me, a breeze, flowing and holding my moving hands. Those ethereal hands walked me to school. I felt safe with them, understood, and protected. It was the presence of a true loving companion. The explanations given by elders were not in tune with this breeze. They talked about a judgmental, austere God with favorite people and moments who condemned those who failed.

So, I left that God explained, that I could not understand, presented by those who claimed the authority to describe Him: Then gradually, along with the magic of childhood, also went my dear Friend, as I drifted into a vacuum of meaning. I tried to tie up logical chains, weaved up by previous peoples’ rational thinking, who also tried to explain everything. But unfortunately, these people forgot that feelings were also part of human wisdom.

Pursuing understanding through models of scientific reductionism and materialism, I reached a dead end concerning what life is and why. And when looking up at the clear Caribbean night sky of my youth, splashed with milky ways, I shuddered at being so infinitesimal and was unsatisfied with the materialistic worldviews and theories then occupying my brain.

Why do children suffer? Why the imbalance of well-being? Why the rampant injustice and hypocrisy? The seeming order expounded in natural science laws failed to explain the inconsistencies of human behavior, including my own. This made the surfaces of the world I investigated, the only world I then believed in, contradictory and disordered.

Then my inner turmoil also started to shift, the loss of a loved one, the failure to achieve goals, no matter how hard one tried to exercise control. Frustration and pain opened vistas of an inside deep world, where the linear logic of measure, so neatly purported to explain relationships of objects conceived in space, simply did not apply.

Growing in despair, I sought an answer, and in a moment of utter desperation, a smile of Being projected itself from the depths behind my eyes.

A valley of tears, prisoners, a lost Paradise, a beleaguered humanity?

I could feel the contradictory drives within me, those seeking the satisfaction of selfish desires, others prompting me to nurture others, to compassion. I experienced pain, longing, and confusion, but also joy, beauty, and the depth of the story. It is profound and overbearing, whether you are in joy or pain. The human receptacle is not ample enough to contain the explosion of either of them. It is like trying to hold the ocean in a cup.

Yet, sometimes, something spills within, instantaneously and spontaneously, and one feels flowing out of the container, catching a glimpse of a glimpse, where one can see the beauty of it all; and it becomes an inexplicable combined experience of a valley of tears/tavern of joy, a lost/found paradise, a simultaneous freedom/prison, and relief/beleaguerment, all at once, all in one.

Then just Love is.

There is a joy, mixed with sadness, a sort of mother pearl feeling, that goes beyond both emotions, a wholeness that derives its nature and is at the same time all shades of this energy, a unified field of longing and realization, so tightly knitted that one is the other, while none is at the same time, it is a light dark, a gloriousness beyond understanding.

Its essence is so simultaneously human-divine that it is the most lovable and loving of all possible constructs, imagined or not, in the universe and beyond. An always apparition that fulfills itself, in being at the same time lost and found, longed for/and realized.

Language or thought cannot express this state, this energy, dimension, totality, or flux within the same point. That is called Love. There is a simplicity to its manifestation. It is actually always happening all the time, but it misses itself in words, mental elucubrations, and efforts as it tries to celebrate its own expression.

It is so deeply beautiful, so inebriating One, that its echoes reflected on impossible mirrors, trying to assert the “imperishable sweetness that lives within us all”, misses it while swimming on it, until it drowns eventually in it, naturally. All the fabric of everything and the beyond imagined and not, is suffused within this wholeness, so overbearing, so mellowly impossible to comprehend.

What an incredible story is being told, where every point is sacred, pivotal, part and parcel of everything else!

Yes, sometimes Love reveals itself in dispersion. It is no longer perceived as rooted or sheltered by shady groves of form, and it has become seeds of new birth, smiles in butterflies coloring all. It’s blown up like the cosmos, and it's light spilled on every dark, without time or name, without a point of reference, flowing effervescent Milky Ways. Its full moons pour through windows, enchanting dreamers, delighting lovers and inspiring them. No longer grounded or claiming any space. Expanded, reaching out, pouring blessings to everyone. Free to give, in a forever mode. This Love of always.