The art of building a strong self-love routine and a fulfilling relationship with oneself is rooted in the need to live a happier more joyful life. It stems from I had enough of this attitude and a deep knowing that there is more to life than non-prioritising own happiness. How do we change this?

We change this with first of all a decision that we are ready to make the big step and start prioritizing our well-being, our happiness and joy over any societal notion of what one should be or do to be morally accepted into society and its surrounding. If you take a moment and pay attention to how you're surroundings contribute to your overall happiness, you can then see whether or not you are aligned with it.

If the surrounding does not bring hope and fulfilment, to say the least, it's truly time to take accountability for your own happiness and make an action plan to change this. Embarking on a self-love journey may cause some commotion in one's current life circumstances. In my own journey, I’ve noticed a lot of people falling behind resulting in me losing relationships. Am I glad that happened to me? Absolutely to the point, I wish I started on my self-love journey sooner than when I did.

I’ve lost most people that are negative and digress my growth but at the same time, I have gained more stable, a grounder and inspiring relationships with humans that bring me joy every day.

The question is are you ready to change your life? The change will not be drastic but rather subtle especially when own self-love boundaries come into play. Having clarity on whats meant to stay versus what needs to go is a sign of alignment and that you are on the right path.

The self-love pillars that I have implemented after deciding that enough is enough and I come first in the story that is my life.

A slow and mindful morning routine filled with self-care

I’m sure we have all been in the place where we wake up, snooze, then get shocked with how little time we have left before the work starts. As we rush around we rise our cortisol levels which result in many things not going to plan that day. First of all, making a decision to stop this behaviour and start a day on a mindful intention-filled note is the most important pillar of self-love.

Wake up 30 minutes early, meditate, journal, drink your tea/coffee, and go through your care routine with mindfulness and the intention that it's helping you better your day and ultimately your life. Take a moment to pause and think about how you feel in your body, are there any anxious thoughts and parts that need to be tended to? How can you soothe yourself to feel better?

Reprogramme your thoughts

Create a positive affirmation after you learn the source of anxiety and commit to repeating it every time you remember or feel down. Our subconscious mind creates our reality and our bodies are the extension of it, learn to listen to it. Every time there is a disconnect with joy and your vibe is low, tell yourself better feeling things that include your daily affirmations. Be mindful of how you feel every day as this is your internal guidance system and the only thing you should pay attention to when making your life decisions, no matter how big or small.

Visualise and show up as her

If you want to become someone you have to embody it now, you have to train your subconscious mind to transition from the lack of her into being her. Identify where in your life you are letting her down and start improving daily. Would she really go for a drink with a man that’s toxic? Would she say yes to people she knows are not good to her? Think about the areas that are negatively affecting your life and ask yourself what would my higher self do?

The sooner you start showing up as her the sooner you will become her.

These pillars may seem simple, however, building your routines based on these ideas are truly life-changing. I know I’ve done it many times over.

Happy self-love journey, where in your life can you make more space for yourself?