As we reach the month of October, the month in which feminine health issues are the concern, voices begin to be heard that seek to dictate what womanly means. Each one from our trench establishes our definitions from the geographical point in which one has decided or could occupy. In each case, the point of view of scientific, intellectual, artistic and social will seek to raise its voice and make its truth heard as if it were absolute. So, we go for everything, mother, female, woman, womanlike, femineity and enter a river of disquisitions on a dynamic subject that causes – and has caused itching – from the time of Eve to the present day. Defining what it means to be a woman is complicated. The truth is that they always try to define us with a series of adjectives and in those definitions come certain borders that do not leave us all comfortable.

It is difficult to open to a civilized conversation around the subject of women. There is great polarization and there seems to be more dissent than consensus. In the media and social networks, we hear that women are strong, resilient, intelligent, bold, enterprising, empathetic, strong and a series of qualifiers are prescribed that would not fit in this column. It seems that, in October, we become the power that is tied to the skirts to advance like a knife on tender butter and I am sorry to say that it is not true. Not all women have that infinite paragon of qualities that they want to impose on us and it is better to say it loud and clear. We are not all an endless well of perfection. Of course, even if the intention is good — and sometimes I doubt it is — this fact adds more to the misunderstanding that turns into hostility.

It is true, that misunderstanding between people is understandable and, in fact, predictable. It's hard to agree. The generational, training, educational and perception gaps oppose resistance to decipher the riddle, they do not hinder, respect and the desire for communication can make possible the dialogue that allows us to see femininity naturally and thus transform lives, improve the situation and achieve tangible, measurable and observable changes.

It is a fact that deafness, the world in general and in this country in particular, and the way in which the feminine issue is turned away is no longer sustainable. We are rational beings, people of ideas and feelings. However, being a woman means something different to each of us. There are those who like to go out to work and those who feel like fish in water in the professional field. There are those who are fascinated by domestic environments and struggle to raise their families every day. There are those who like to shout harangues against men and those who know how to team up with the masculine. There are those who like blue and those who prefer pink. There are shy and extroverted women; good and bad students; frivolous and deep. There are those who prefer heels and those who feel better if they are in comfortable floor shoes. Many of us would like to be stronger, good, more beautiful and more prepared. Many of us would like to be more.

Each of us should participate in the universal concert from our set of gifts and brings into play everyday life from our individuality. It is not the reality for all women. For many, the future is decided. You study or you don't. You do this and you do that. You have to step aside so that others take advantage of opportunities. You have to shut up so that others take the credit. You must dress like this or that. You can go here but you cannot enter here.

In addition, that image that has been granted to us of being gifted beings, magnificent in ourselves, infallible and invincible is not true or feasible, even worse: it is harmful. Women get sick, we get sad, we go to the bathroom, we get angry, we make mistakes and we also have our dark side. We are human beings, with all our potentialities and also with our weaknesses. Anyone who wants us to believe otherwise is deceiving us. It is putting excessive weight on our shoulders that sooner or later will be unsustainable.

Moreover, to aspire to that perfection that borders on purity is to put an unattainable point that will engender frustration. Then, when we are not those beings of heavenly excellence, when we reveal ourselves as human beings who are incarnated, we leave the ethereal condition and act as beings of flesh and blood, we pay dearly. It costs us so much daring, the condemnation is the dark dungeon. These conceptions of the feminine affect women and achieve the same effect of a fork that we stick in our eyes.

See if not. Just look at all the cheers and praises we received in March and verify how many of those words are words that go with the wind. How many women serve on the boards of directors of the country's large corporations? The reality of women's wages is that we earn less for doing the same activities. Performance bonuses are larger for men than for women. The glass ceiling is a standard that is getting lower, those who get sick are punished more, their problems are less understood, and we are seen as an occupational risk.

In addition, as we have swallowed that we are indefatigable, we continue with hours of domestic work after an intense workday. It is not a generation gap, in the millennial generation and generation z, children continue to see mothers as responsible for the care of the house and it is they who must take care of household chores. Still, in our days, we continue to hear women ask for help to carry out the cleaning of the home and see how the other members of the family consider a favor that is done to us, instead of activity of collaboration and teamwork.

It is time for women to see ourselves, and embrace our identity with pride and affection. It is time to break through, our femininity. It is true, these are times of resilience, change, adaptation, of team-building. Women know how to do it and not all of us have to do it with shouts and kicks. We can make our way with arguments, ideas, proposals and with unity. The first ones we must unite are us and learn to reach out to each other.

Let's open the way to women from the feminine, we can act as a system of mirrors and from observing ourselves, from paying attention, we manage to stomp on, accompanying us to occupy the place in which we feel fulfilled, from our individuality.