Watching Xavier Dolan's Matthias & Maxime I thought about how conflict and drama can result from the antagonism between commitments and desires. This film is exemplary in showing the unfolding of this incompatibility. Every time you try to keep commitments, every time you are afraid to face your own desires, situations are shifted to countless conflicts.

Realizing that everything you experience is not satisfying and that what you want is considered inappropriate, inconvenient or abnormal creates divisions. These divisions often express themselves as anger and despair. A boy, for example, who perceives in himself sudden love and sexual desires, developed by his childhood best friend, feels surprise, joy and fear at the same time. How to face this new situation and what it means are questions that arise daily. If the desire is not accepted if spontaneity is held back by commitments and self-images, what to do in the face of this contradiction? This situation tests one's honesty and one's happiness. In the field of love relationships, this division is very frequent, with conflicts arising from socioeconomic and racial differences or also from gender equality or the non-acceptance of homosexuality.

Unable to live with what is different from the socially approved norm, with what is considered abnormal or unhealthy by many, the individual denies what happens, what he feels, and bets on conventions or programmed and accepted paths. He submits to having his motivations cut off and buried by injunctions, conveniences and advantages, such as marrying the best match in college or the community and within the standards considered valid.

The fear or joy that comes with the discovery of the new varies depending on commitments or freedom. What is inauthentic, what is incoherent is maintained independently of one's own motivations when the individual defines himself as the maintainer of what he manages to amass, of what he deems respectable and valid. On the other hand, the surprise, the new, the discovery that brings happiness and joy is embraced when congruence with one's own motivations is sought. To accept your own motivations and desires is to find yourself honest and questioning.

One of the resulting psychological dynamics of non-acceptance is anger or aggression. In this context, countless times we see individuals who attack exactly who they love and when realizing that one's own motivations imply the destruction of the other and that they are caused by anger and revolt. If they accept this anger, they realize that it is created by the non-acceptance of life. This realization is liberating, it is powerful and capable of generating a complete change of attitude. From this point, the motivation is not to destroy the other, but to break barriers of what alienates and isolates. In the same way, in other situations, realizing that they love and desire the similar and that this is forbidden or considered abnormal, since the commandment to "love one another and multiply", for example, is not heeded, they may realize that love is exhausted and fulfilled in love itself and that the pragmatic and reproductive functions attributed to it are only a religious envelope and, at times, a social obligation.

To question one's own motivations is to discover oneself, it is to open perspectives for change and for satisfaction and happiness. Experiencing surprises brought by the other or by everyday life requires unity and acceptance.

The higher the level of non-acceptance, the greater the fragmentation, and each aspect of it raises conflicting and restrictive questions, as long as they are partial; resulting in commitments and fears in which decision-making data are established and in which one has always been divided, confused and fragmented. Nothing completes, nothing defines, everything strangles and terrifies, and so, in these cases, the rule is to lie, deceive and disguise: denying evidence and erasing traces. Norms, rules and lies become the coordinates that determine everything and in this way, the human is destroyed.

The individual who does not accept himself, who does not accept his desires, becomes the representative of everything that situates, commits and imprisons him. When the depersonalization process is installed, he divides and fragments himself.