As the plane landed in New York, Diana and her son were filled with emotions. Her son was to begin college there shortly, so he was very excited about entering this part of his life in a new and fun place. For Diana, the sentiment was different. She grew up in Brooklyn, New York and felt overwhelmed by memories with a subtle feeling of hope that her life would change for the better.

Diana left New York 20 years earlier to go to college in Italy. She felt very connected with her Italian heritage and loved Italy, so she wanted to study abroad for college, and her parents permitted her to do so. Her son, who grew up in Italy, asked to do the same thing because he wanted to live in New York. He loved it every time he visited his grandparents, so it was almost impossible for Diana to refuse when he asked her if he could study there.

Diana decided to take a break from her life and go somewhere different. She took a short leave of absence from work so she could help her son get settled in at college, spend some time with her family abroad, and figure out where exactly she should be in life.

Being back in Brooklyn provoked many feelings within Diana. It felt like both a foreign place and her home. She felt there was so much she missed although she occasionally came back to visit. It was as if she was exploring the unknown but also a whole other lifetime as she entered her mother’s kitchen and smelled the food cooking. As she walked through her childhood home, it felt like time never passed, and she never left. It was certain that the feeling of nostalgia overcame all her other feelings about returning to New York.

The next day, Diana decided to go to mass at the parish of her former Catholic elementary school. Upon leaving mass, she saw a familiar face. It was Ryan, one of her very good childhood friends and former classmates at the elementary school. She wondered if he remembered her. His presence projected an immediate comfort to her. Through her eyes, she still saw him as the young boy that she had parted ways with after eighth grade graduation; except now he had grown into a man.

As Diana walked over and looked at him, he smiled, and she was assured that he remembered who she was. They began talking and walking for a while, reminiscing about the past, talking about their former marriages, their children, and their jobs. He mentioned how, although they went to different high schools and lost contact with each other, he heard that after graduation she went to college in Italy and stayed there to live. He hadn’t even left New York in many years. He also told her how he would love to visit Italy because his grandfather was from there, but he didn’t know precisely where.

As their walk ended, they exchanged numbers, and Ryan had asked her out to lunch for the next day. As Diana gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek, he pulled her closer and gave her a short, but sweet, kiss on her lips. That kiss was the beginning of their relationship, a relationship that grew so strong that he even asked her if they could move in together after a little over a month!

After Ryan asked her to move in with him, Diana had a lot of thinking to do. The logical part of her knew that it was too soon, but the nostalgic part of her felt good about it, since it was Ryan. He was her childhood friend, and their families knew each other. She had struggled with trusting people her whole life. This struggle was unwarranted because nobody, to her knowledge, had every betrayed her trust, but Diana felt that the reason no one betrayed her was because she did not trust anyone. It was a way to protect herself from potential harm. However, for the first time in her life, she decided to let her guard down. She felt sure that he would never betray her, and maybe this was the way things were supposed to be. Maybe she was supposed to return to Brooklyn and live a quiet life with a man from her neighborhood. Ever since her husband, Ettore, died six years earlier, she felt so lost in terms of a relationship. She had quite a few different boyfriends thereafter, and even was engaged, but could not manage to be happy. She wanted real love and happiness, like she had with Ettore, but it was so difficult for her to find, and she could never settle with just being content.

In her latest relationship with Luca, he accused her of trying to find Ettore in her relationships, so she wasn’t giving men, including him, a fair chance. For this reason, they decided to take a break. Even through her happiness with Ryan, she thought of Luca’s words but had been avoiding any conversation with him since her departure from Rome. Diana finally admitted to herself that she was searching for Ettore in other men. She just could not let him go; everything was good with him, even the hard times. But, she had felt a sense of freedom through her encounter with Ryan. He was nothing like Ettore, which meant she may have been breaking an unhealthy cycle, no matter how difficult the journey had been.

Diana came to her decision about moving in together. Oddly enough, she had not heard from Ryan in about a week after having such a serious conversation, so she decided to reach out to him. She let him know that it was too soon, and he agreed. He admitted he didn’t think it through and went on to tell her how he was dealing with a lot of problems in his life, but his childhood friend, Max, was helping him through it. He apologized for being out of contact and said it wouldn’t happen again.

Things were not the same over the next two months. Ryan’s behavior was very hot and cold. One minute, he was in love with Diana, and the next, he wasn’t even responding to her messages. She confronted the situation, and when she did, she was given the same story as to how things were difficult for him, but he was working through it with Max, this childhood friend completely unknown to her, so she just thought it was another woman. Upon her assumption, they came to an agreement that they would continue seeing each other, but on a casual basis.

A short while after, Diana found out some shocking news. She was pregnant! How would she tell Ryan?! She calmed down and tried to think logically: what was she so scared of? He was not going to abandon her. They were both parents, so they would figure this out together, or at least that’s what she thought.

Over the next few weeks, it was impossible to get in contact with Ryan. She sent messages, tried calling (even his job), and showed up at his house to give him the news, but he was nowhere to be found. As a last resort, she left him a voice memo with the news. She saw that he heard it, but there was still no response from him. After seeing that, she felt like throwing up, so she ran to the bathroom. There she was, close to 40 years old, pregnant with a child by a man, who for no reason at all, seemed to want nothing to do with her. Trying to suppress her depression, she revisited a memory of herself as a college student finding out she was pregnant in a foreign country, away from her family, but not alone. Ettore, also a college student, was there in front of her and held her to let her know that everything would be alright. His words turned her tears of fear into tears of joy. Sadly, the only thing in front of her now was a white wall with no answers.

The next day, she was at a local supermarket and saw Ryan. Diana was mad at him but calmed herself given her situation. She walked over to him and said, “Hello, Ryan.” He responded, “Do I know you? I think you have mistaken me for someone else.” As he proceeded to walk away, Diana could no longer control her temper. When he turned into an aisle where no people were present, she ran and kicked him in the back as hard as she could. With this kick, he fell, but as he tried to break his fall, he grabbed a shelf with glass-bottled beverages. Unfortunately for him, the shelf was not secure, so a few glass bottles fell and broke on him, causing him to slip and cut himself. He immediately screamed for help, and she ran. The security guard was unable to outrun her, so she got away, but she was not finished with Ryan yet.

Diana waited and hid for about a half hour for Ryan to exit the supermarket alone, and he did. She was determined to confront him to say what she wanted to, but before she could, Ryan had yet surprised her once again.

As Diana was about to approach him, she heard him talking to someone and call that person “Max.” She would finally find out who Max was! As she turned the corner to look, she saw Ryan speaking, but there was nobody there. He was having a conversation with himself. Max didn’t exist and seemed to be an imaginary childhood friend. She was left speechless and quietly walked away, knowing that nothing she could say or do would fix Ryan’s problems.

That night, Diana purchased a one-way ticket back to Rome. She thanked her family for everything and told them she would come back but needed to go back to live in Rome. Maybe she needed to live that short amount of time in New York again to be sure that the decision she made as such a young person was the right one.

When Diana returned to Rome, she made an appointment with her doctor. She went to her appointment, and a few days later, she received a call from her doctor, who told her she was not pregnant. It must’ve been a false positive on the pregnancy test. She was relieved and felt that she was given a second chance to make things right with Luca because throughout her time in New York, she could not stop thinking about him.

That evening, rather than texting or calling Luca, Diana decided to just show up at his apartment. She knew it was a bold move given the time that passed and the silence between them, but she was ready for any response. After overcoming that dreadful relationship with Ryan, she was fearless and felt no need to protect herself from harm anymore because she experienced harm, battled it, and got her answers. She defeated harm, and better yet, knew it could be defeated.

Luca answered the door, and he was alone. Diana immediately embraced him and cried in his arms; no words were exchanged. After a few seconds, she whispered to him, “ti amo,” He told her how he knew she loved him as he loved her, but he just needed her to know it.