When faced with a traumatic situation, the human mind tends to retreat into overthinking, overanalysing (the intellectual mind), or, conversely, into spirituality. These retreats are a signal to protect our nervous system from what it cannot process and bear. An overly overstimulated mind can also fall initially into a state of freezing and dissociation, which manifests as not feeling any emotion towards the manifestations of life, so that, for example, we do not know how to set boundaries or how to arrange life's priorities.

One could say, therefore, that in a state of denial of our own feelings, we do not know who we are and which way to lead ourselves through life. It is only a smokescreen and another illusion to dress up our identity in the trap of over-intellectualising life path, which may manifest itself, for example, in an extensive educational path that has nothing to do with the lifestyle I want to lead or my passions and talents. Escape into spirituality, on the other hand, reflects a tendency to seek relief in keeping exclusively in the world of meditation, rituals, and communities, which in itself can be an excellent practice of tranquillity, but applied excessively distances from living in the here and now and creating our own unique life path.

Another aspect can be escaping into survival mode, that is, doing anything that takes us away from mindfulness and self-reflection. This can manifest itself in workaholism or simply in self-imposed pressure to fill the time with as many responsibilities as possible, with the accompanying rush. This is not conducive to looking into one's own inner self and thus prescribes an escape from oneself in a repetitive loop of time.

The practice of gratitude

Gratitude is one practice that helps to ground the mind and body in the here and now. It is advisable to keep a gratitude journal, or in a slightly more contemporary way, to keep social media in which we share our lives, because often what we are willing to show the world suddenly becomes our embodied feeling, which we give it a voice. This inner voice should be heard and seen as often as possible. We can also help it through bodywork practices, such as yoga, qigong, or intuitive dance, because bodywork opens up mindfulness to managing myself and therefore what moves me in the moment.

Gratitude actually gives a feeling of satisfaction and fulfilment, it is the springboard to feeling pleasure, it doesn't happen the other way around. And the ability to practice gratitude does not come easily to the human mind, as it unfortunately picks up on any inconveniences or shortcomings more easily. And the idea here is to trick the mind in a certain way and navigate it in such a way as to redirect attention from deficiencies to what is and serves us. Such mental training is worth reinforcing by communicating with your body, working with it somatically, and asking it questions from time to time throughout the day:

  • Are there places where you feel tension in your body?

  • How does your body feel when it can slow down? Name the pleasant sensations in the body, where do they occur?

  • Do you feel safe where you are now, in your body and in your mind? If not, which part doesn't feel taken care of? How can I help it feel better?

  • What have I not given myself in a long time?

Self-expression

Allowing ourselves to express our feelings is the key to healthy self-expression. However, we generally associate this notion through art, clothing, or values. Meanwhile, self-expression is also about allowing ourselves to have emotions that we may have been told in childhood were bad and not appropriate to express to other people, such as anger or grief. However, the whole palette of emotions is a map of our feelings; if we leave out some of its elements, the map will become useless because it will no longer guide you. Only embracing the whole scale of your feelings leads to emotional liberation, and thus to building your identity based on healthy self-expression.

So if the mind is guiding us on what is appropriate and what is not, it is stopping us from fully revealing our personality. A personality hidden from people's judgement not only hides what is waiting to be confronted, but also hides what is your resource. By cutting ourselves off from difficult emotions and putting up boundaries, we also cut ourselves off from our potential. Expressing your feelings to other people is a clear signal to the mind that you are giving it permission to use its language and that you see its needs. Expressing yourself only in a diary can be very helpful, but it doesn't fix the problem; it can be another escape into spirituality. Only by really standing up for ourselves and openly expressing our own boundaries and needs, is the gateway to a life where we no longer identify with the victim figure but become the creators of our lives.

Running away from oneself takes many forms and is the mind's reaction to trauma. It is possible to overlook our own defense mechanisms for years while they undermine our ability to express ourselves and reduce our sense of pleasure and gratitude. Try to direct your attention to your body, which responds to each emotion experienced with a personal reaction. It is also worth scanning your daily schedule in terms of rush and the number of responsibilities. Pay attention to whether they correspond to your interests or whether you impose them in opposition to your own needs. The world is simpler than you think; it gets easier the more you tune into yourself.