The LGBTQIA+ community has been growing day by day. There is still a long way to go, but the acceptance for the same is increasing day by day. With the prospect of acceptance of all kinds of sexuality, ignorance around the topic is decreasing.
The A in the term LGBTQIA+ stands for the Asexuals. The wide umbrella term for all kinds of asexuality.
An asexual does not have any sexual feelings. Asexuality in itself has a spectrum of different types of sexualities. It does not have a box with a specific gender to be included as asexuals. These include the number of sexual inclinations that also include demisexuality, grey sexuality, aromantics, sapiosexual and other intricate small parts.
Let’s get a brief overview of what would be included in the asexuality spectrum.
When it comes to this spectrum, opinions and attitudes, especially towards sex, differ from person to person. This is a way for people to try and understand themselves better. It is not a compulsive parameter that an individual has to put themselves into.
It could differ from being completely sex negative to sex-neutral to sex-positive.
A sex-negative person could be someone who is completely repulsed by the idea of sex. They do not find sex appealing or unpleasant.
Whereas a person who is sex neutral does not necessarily have any strong feelings towards sex, they don’t think too much about it.
A person who is sex-positive, might not be sexually attracted to somebody but they have a positive attitude towards sex. They find sex as a completely healthy reaction to it. Some sex-positive asexuals also choose to be in a sexual relationship with someone.
To be kept in simple terms, demisexuality is where a person develops sexual feelings towards someone only when they are able to have an important and deep genuine emotional connection with them.
Grey sexuality is where sexual attraction comes very occasionally.
Aromantics are people who are not romantically attracted to anyone. People who are aromantic asexuals or also known as “aroaces” are those who would prefer avoiding sex.
But let's talk about some major myths and ideas about Asexuality.
Are asexuals ever in a relationship/ or want to be in a relationship?
There are many asexuals involved in romantic relationships. Being an asexual does not necessarily mean they do not want to be in a romantic relationship. They are not anti-social, necessarily. Many asexuals love the feeling that they get when they are cherished, loved, and appreciated. Not every asexual counts themselves as aromantic.
Does that mean that they never have sex?
No. The need for sex is just similar to others. There can be many different reasons why they would have sex. It could be something there like wanting a child, or even just because they want to. Asexuals are not sexually attracted to people. But they don’t need to be naturally and perpetually repulsed by the idea of having sex. As discussed before, some sex-positive asexuals do have sex but that does not mean they are necessarily sexually attracted to others.
Are relationships important to them?
Yes. Any kind of relationship is very important to any human being. Every human being has a person who is very important to them. Asexuals tend to keep their platonic relations closer and put them in the category of higher-order intimacy. It depends on different people but many love to have relationships whether they are as a parent, significant others, families, friends, or siblings.
Isn’t asexuality a choice?
Asexuality is a part of the sexuality spectrum. This may not be a choice made by individuals. Asexuality could be something that they are born with just like other sexualities.
Is there a possibility that they haven’t found the right person yet?
There is an idea that asexual people have not found the “right person” yet who can make them feel their hidden sexual desires. This argument is mostly applied to asexuality rather than any other sexual orientation. But our sexual orientation is not decided because of the company we keep.
Well whether you are sexually attracted to someone or not at all. You define your sexuality, orientation and identity. It is your choice in how you define yourself.