Have you ever noticed how people vilify the experience of boredom in their lives? There are quotes that state something akin to, “There are no uninteresting things, only uninterested people”. G.K. Chesterton here implies that boredom is a symptom of a boring, uncurious mind.

Boredom can be frustrating, can make us feel like we are lacking fun or excitement in our lives, can make us feel like we are wasting time. However, boredom is not only inevitable — at times it is exactly what we need.

Doing away with boredom

The mainstream take on boredom is that it is a feeling to avoid at all costs. With the help of some content-rich technology that fits so snugly into our pockets, humans seem to have hacked boredom with constant stimulation and a manufactured sense of constantly doing something.

So, what is the alternative? Sitting with it? Doing nothing?

The better question may be: what is it about sitting with our boredom that terrifies us so much? What would happen if we stopped obsessively doing and settled into being?

If we think about how boredom manifests, it usually looks something like this: we don’t know what to do, we try doing some things, but nothing we do satiates the gnawing feeling in the pit of our stomach. If we are lucky, we find an activity that distracts us from our boredom for a while, but once it’s done, we are left unsatisfied and searching for the next activity that will do the trick. If this doesn’t sound like an addict looking for their next high, read it again.

Humans in modern societies are addicted to doing. We ask people, “are you a thinker or a doer”, knowing fully well that the doers are regarded as superior. Doing is productive; it’s creative; it’s innovative; it’s a sign of vitality and agency. It is hardly surprising then that our reaction to boredom is to find something to do. But doesn’t that all sound exhausting sometimes?

The sweetness of being bored

The famous Italian saying dolce far niente or “the sweetness of doing nothing” can also be translated as “the sweetness of being”, for doing nothing is simply being.

After a long period of frenzied doing, being can be terribly uncomfortable, even terribly boring. We work so hard all year, looking forward to the holidays when we can finally decompress, sleep and do whatever we want to do. Yet, when the time comes, we have absolutely no idea what to do with ourselves. The lack of busyness is disconcerting. We become bored.

Boredom, however, is a balm for burnout. It is not uncommon that people who suffer with burnout feel bored when they finally get time off. The lack of stimulation is the prescription, and the boredom is the remedy.

Another area of our lives in which we struggle to tolerate boredom and to which we often look to relieve boredom is our relationships, and especially our love lives. Boredom in romantic relationships is too quickly diagnosed as a dying flame, because romance should be passionate, exciting, and leave your heart and belly fluttering, right?

Many question the longevity of their relationships when they start to feel bored, but feeling bored may indicate valuable relationship qualities, such as security, trust and reliability. If romance has meant perpetually chasing someone, working to win someone’s love, or playing the dating game, love that only asks you to be as you are can feel boring.

You see, our nervous system and our vulnerable hearts could use a little boredom.

Be bored from time to time

Like all uncomfortable feelings, boredom only troubles those who are afraid to sit with it. And on the same note, boredom becomes untroubling when being becomes enough. Be bored, and you might learn something about what you truly need. Be bored, and you might be surprised by the peace that follows.