On a windy weekend day, the sand gleams as tourists play tennis on the beach. Today, the sun shines more glamorously than usual — the wind may cradle it, dancing. I'm 30 now.

Days before my birthday, I landed a job with all the features of stability: good income, nice colleagues, yet plagued by bad management and a lack of leadership. However, it offered diverse cultural backgrounds, influencing every level of communication. Management skills included your manager sharing details like their daily meals, their children's antics in town, and the challenges of commuting during Ramadan fasting.

For anyone who believed the professional position signified independence, there were struggles, uncertainties, with money serving as a monthly distraction from my philosophical questions. Who am I? Why do I feel off? At times, I found myself asking: Are you kidding yourself? Trapped behind a desk.

"Ok, I appreciate the opportunity, but something feels off," I'd think. I'd grab my coffee, exchange pleasantries with my colleague, dive into emails and routine tasks. My initial resistance was to open up to my coworker, despite spending hours together. Yet, behind my back, I was praised for my luck, assured of inevitable change. I received passive support from my managers, salary appraisals amidst the chaos of numbers, procurement systems, endless tasks, emails, calls — overwhelming for an introverted woman in her 30s. I quit my job.

Feminist fairy tales once filled me with dreams, yet discontent lingered. Reflecting on feminist movement founders, discovering Simone de Beauvoir's romantic entanglement with Jean-Paul Sartre felt like a betrayal.

As a complicated woman, I often contemplate my existence, drawn to psychological and philosophical introspections. Inventing threesome sex isn't the key to liberating women from men's grasps; it merely reflects feminism's sexual focus, tapping into parent-daughter complexes. Women shouldn't conform to others' expectations.

On my first day of being 30, I felt a strange freedom from others' judgments. As a stubborn person, I felt a loud freedom to be myself, to enjoy life now. It gave me a sense of self to cherish the present more; in my 20s, I often worried about others. Now, I genuinely don't care. Society's burdens in your 20s can be depressing, leading to a generation like Gen Z, daring and seemingly timeless, living in denial.

Coming from a society that preached women's rights, feminism also pressured women to embody specific personas. As a woman, you feel pressure to be the overachiever, the businesswoman, the money lover. If you're not, feminism eats you alive.

As I reflect on my journey into my thirties, one theme that resonates profoundly is the influence of feminism on societal expectations and individual identity. Feminism, with its noble goal of advocating for women's rights and equality, has undeniably shaped the landscape of society. Yet, alongside its achievements, it has also introduced complexities and pressures that merit examination.

In the wake of feminism's rise emerged a narrative of empowerment and liberation for women. It promised a world where women could break free from traditional roles and pursue their ambitions without constraints. However, the reality often diverges from this idealistic portrayal. Instead of experiencing unbridled freedom, many women find themselves navigating a labyrinth of expectations and standards set by society, sometimes perpetuated by feminist discourse itself.

The pressure to embody the archetype of the "independent woman" is one such burden. Women are encouraged to excel in their careers, assert their autonomy, and shatter glass ceilings. While these aspirations are undoubtedly worthy, they can also become shackles, binding women to unrealistic standards of success and achievement. The expectation to juggle multiple roles effortlessly — professional, familial, and personal — can be overwhelming, leaving little room for vulnerability or self-care.

Moreover, feminism's emphasis on challenging traditional gender roles has inadvertently placed additional burdens on both women and men. Women are often urged to adopt traditionally masculine traits, such as assertiveness and ambition, in order to thrive in male-dominated spaces. Meanwhile, men may feel pressure to redefine their identities in the face of evolving gender dynamics, grappling with shifting expectations of masculinity and femininity.

In essence, feminism's impact on society is multifaceted and nuanced. While it has undoubtedly catalyzed progress towards gender equality, it has also exposed fissures within our cultural fabric. It is imperative that we engage in critical dialogue and introspection to navigate these complexities effectively. By recognising the limitations of rigid gender norms and embracing diversity in lived experiences, we can move towards a more inclusive and equitable future for all.

In the quest for true liberation, we must strive to dismantle not only external barriers but also the internalised expectations that inhibit individual autonomy and fulfilment. Only then can we truly embrace the diversity of human experience and empower each individual to define their own path, free from the constraints of societal norms and expectations.