The life of human beings, including that which takes place in the professional field, is like a journey. Sometimes we have a flat, easy and pleasant route; other times we need to go uphill, and we sweat it out; There are times when we must dodge obstacles — turn them around, jump over them, go underneath — and other times, the road forks. In those situations, we must choose. We cannot go both ways because the choice of one disappears to the other. Opportunity cost leads us to make decisions because we can't walk in the procession and ring the bell. It is that cost that can be imaginary or fictitious, that path that was not traveled because of preferring the other, more urgent or priority choice. The lies we were told and shouldn't believe refer to pretending that all situations in life are like this: to achieve certain goals, we should give up others. It's not always that way, it shouldn't always be that way.
The dilemma is real, it reverberates in our heads when we think about working life. The dilemma is decisive for the lives of women who want to be mothers — now for some fathers as well — and who want to follow their professional career at the same time. After a few short weeks of maternity leave, bonding, breastfeeding, and nesting with the baby is a challenge, and to be honest, there are times when we think it's impossible to achieve. That's just the beginning. A child represents a life commitment. Priorities change, reality shifts. However, that's the way the professional world is the challenge is to adapt to change. It's not about choosing one path and abandoning the other: it's about organising well and planning strategically to achieve it.
Work-life balance can be achieved if we are willing to make changes, broaden our vision, and ensure that conditions are conducive. We must start by deconstructing a lot of the negative that has been built around this situation and start seeing it as a privilege that we want to exercise. We should start by demolishing the idea that children are a burden and a factor of destruction that dynamites professional growth because this is not the case. You should look deeply and leave aside the immediacy. It is about inquiring into the facilities and limitations that any situation has. We must take advantage of the rewards and overcome the borders that women suffer when we decide to become mothers to reconcile motherhood and professional development.
It is a fact, thinking about the harmonious coexistence between work and motherhood is sometimes so stressful that it can even seem impossible. It happens this way because that's what we've been led to believe, as if it were a matter of choosing to go red or blue. It is not a question of complicating it, but of giving it its proper dimension, because oversimplification is unrealistic. However, this complexity requires coordination and organization, so I assure you without a doubt, that far from complicating personal life or hindering professional performance, this duality enriches a person's life.
Being a mom involves developing a lot of skills. We need to integrate them so that they become part of our profile, become a firm and solid base that serves as a platform to reach a new level. From the moment they arrive, our children transform us. Our whole lives are modified: our routines, our habits. Adapting shapes our personality. In professional life, we are adjusting all the time.
Being a mother is equated with a managerial activity: it is about time optimization, creativity, management, negotiation, conflict resolution. It is as if suddenly, two managements merged and we had to absorb both responsibilities, something that is very common in the business field. We need tools for the enormous task of being a mother and to help us perform in both fields. Understanding it is essential so that it is not a burden or an obstacle in our career.
Of course, the good judge at home begins first we need to understand it ourselves to continue demonstrating it, so as not to give up. That potential, which is demonstrated in our daily lives, must be exploited on a day-to-day basis. To do this, it is necessary to respect time and space. We need to change the attitude: that a child is not judged or considered in advance as an impediment to good work performance, providing the opportunity to develop.
Sadly, there has been a long history of lies that a mother is not a committed professional, or that she will upset her priorities in favour of the baby and against the company. These kinds of generalizations do a lot of harm. There are women who are not given the commitment and others who are, regardless of motherhood. Moreover, the responsibility of a child goes hand in hand with the duty to work. Those who say that a child is a distraction do not realise the number of issues that can distract a collaborator, and those who affirm this forget that a member of our team has a life beyond the profession. People have parents, siblings, spouses, friends — because full existence is not limited to one sphere.
Fortunately, today we can take advantage of technological advances, organize resources to work in our favor, coordinate people who are focused on achieving clear objectives, guide our collaborators, play as a team. It's putting respect and flexibility to work. This will bring benefits to organizations. A person who understands processes well and who has good results should not be put between a rock and a hard place, between motherhood and work life, between the possibility of giving life and work performance. That would be a lose-lose situation. He loses the company by letting go of a valuable item, and he loses the company by leaving.
Unfortunately, there are still numerous women who abandon their professional careers when they become mothers. The gender pay gap is a reality and is sometimes aggravated by motherhood. The culture of many companies still does not accompany or respect the time necessary for the transformative experience of motherhood to be reflected in women's performance. Accompanying us in this great responsibility benefits companies and society.
It is time for society to be ready for women to be able to raise children and work. The level of demand that working women impose on themselves makes the feeling overflow and prevents constant progress. Any woman, like anyone who moves up the professional ladder, knows that there will be stress and challenges to face. Being mothers, there are women who have let several trains pass and have gotten off others. That's how it happens, we try to lengthen the days, to see how we steal minutes from sleep. We don't want to give up having a family, but we also don't want to stop progressing. We shouldn't, but we're made to choose.
It's time for a change. Companies are at the forefront and have already begun to pay attention to the questions that young women face when applying for a job: do you have children? And do you consider having them? A male candidate for the same position would not be subjected to such questions. Companies need to change their work-life balance training. Empathy must be trained. It is true that there are some that have taken small steps. Companies need to set clear policies and stop doing things on the fly. I do think that there are organisations that try to facilitate work-life balance in a general way, but then it depends a lot on the boss. It's not that.
Motherhood is for those women who choose it, a natural period that must be integrated in a harmonious way. It is a trait of identity that must be respected and defended with the same strength with which our preferences are safeguarded and with which we take care of our values. It should be defended in the same way we do with a student who is working. Yes, sometimes you will be late because you had an exam, as there will be times when a mother will take a morning off to go to an annual festival at her child's school, or when she is going to drop him off for the first time at school, or when she accompanies him to receive his college degree.
They lie to us when they tell us that motherhood and professional life are compatible. We fail when we discriminate against a mother for having children. We lose by denying an opportunity to a capable person who has a family. We must lift that veil, break those barriers and stop believing all those falsehoods that subtract instead of adding. The life of human beings, including that which takes place in the professional field, is like a journey. There are situations that present us with certain dilemmas: motherhood and professional life are not the case. It is that imaginary cost, that path that was not traveled because we believed that it was one or the other choice, that should be erased from the collective imagination.
The lies we were told and shouldn't believe refer to pretending that all situations in life are like this: to achieve certain goals, we should give up others. It's not always that way, it shouldn't always be that way. We must start by deconstructing a lot of the negative that has been built around this situation and start seeing it as a privilege that we want to exercise.