The volatility of passion

An impulsive decision, an argument fuelled by memory, circumstances seemingly out of all control, what becomes of a person when their emotions dictate the outcome, when the volatility of passion is allowed total control? Doesn’t it feel good to yell, to shout, to express oneself without applying reason or logic? It is primal and innately human, to err on the side of emotion rather than maintain a cool head and solve circumstantial dilemmas with a lowered tone and a calm demeanour.

In a 2022 psychological study conducted by Robert J. Vallerand, Virginie Paquette, and Christine Richard, 43 women and 12 men aged around 27 years old were asked to conduct the studies they were passionate about in a variety of stressful scenarios. The study, titled ‘The Role of Passion in Psychological and Cardiovascular Responses: Extending the Field of Passion and Positive Psychology in New Directions,’ published in Frontiers in Psychology, defines passion as ‘a strong inclination toward an activity that people like (or even love), find important, in which they invest time and energy, and that is part of identity.’ The other side of this is that ‘passion can also arouse negative emotions, lead to inflexible persistence, and interfere with achieving a balanced, successful life.’ This is what Vallerand coined ‘the duality of passion.’ ¹

Passion makes us human, separates us in some regards to many of life’s creatures, in saying that it is important to understand how living an impassioned life and making impassioned decisions can become poisonous to healthy relationships and lead others to view the impassioned man or woman as selfish, putting their own emotional needs above those of others. Without passion there would be no war to protest, no protesters to consciously object there would be no empires to speak of, there would be no great works of art, there would be no music, the crops which are harvested with every impassioned farmer’s sweat and grit would not make it to anyone’s table.

No, there is no hope for a life subdued and lobotomized to cool or neglect the flames of passion. In recent years, owing in large part to the global pandemic which created some sense of mass hysteria and polarized all political discourse, there has been much needed talk about emotional intelligence from those in the workplace and those in the psychological field. The line must be drawn by the individual grappling with passion, that constant push and pull between wants and needs, where is the line drawn? Managing passion is the key to maintaining stamina in life's pursuit of happiness.

What is it she said to you? Stay with me forever and ever until we grow old? Where is she now? What passion brought two strangers together and what passion tore them apart? Passion is love, passion is hate, passion can right a wrong that passion can create. There were times I, myself, had in many respects given up hope or felt my passion had abandoned me. It is only in recent years that I have made concerted efforts to balance pride and ego with an undeservedly self deprecating nature or guilt that is harbored deep within my own psyche. It is a relentless and difficult challenge to reignite one’s own passion, where do others fit into this challenge and are they at all helpful in regaining a positive sense of self? On the one hand, it is my opinion that other people respect those who respect themselves, we wish to see our impact manifest itself positively on others and that impact be lived out to tangible effect.

Hypothetically if a person were to coach a child in a sport, and this coach knew the child’s father personally, it would be prudent for the child’s father to trust that the coach can instill a sense of passion in this child and discard any thought of how they know one another personally. This trust between two role models is difficult to establish, the stakes are a lot higher when there is a personal relationship at hand. If a stranger was coaching the child, it might force the father to better understand his place in the dynamic.

Take another example, if two friends have been working for the same company for a handful of years and one of them does not take themselves very seriously, while the other takes their career very seriously, it might create a tension between them. I will recall a quote that further explains this rhetoric quite bluntly, upon living with a new housemate one of the first things he said to me was, “You have goals, right? Because I can’t be around someone who does not want more for themselves, you need to have goals, be passionate about something.”

There are any number of words that can be thrown about to label the human experience and categorize various circumstances, take these two concepts: self acceptance and complacency. What is a deeply spiritual feeling of self acceptance and peace with oneself, without the need to attain any more, could be viewed as complacency or even laziness to others. So which one is it? Are Buddhist monks lay-abouts who should get a job? Is that what we have come to as a species, to be so completely out of love with ourselves unless we can own twelve or more cars and a penthouse on both coasts?

Passion is as passion does, when it is utilized for the purpose of chasing happiness through a craft then passion is a good thing. When passion is used to express honest emotions that others might never fully understand, and when it confuses us mentally and makes clarity of communication difficult, then passion is a bad thing. Ultimately, it depends on where the energy is being directed, what outcome this passion will create. Impassioned honesty is often referred to as ‘speaking from the soul’ and is about as easy to understand as the soul itself (not easy at all.)

Passion can start fights, passion can help you earn a degree or higher learning qualification, passion is the reason people rise from their beds each morning (or afternoon, depending on how much passion you have). Passion is everything we know about ourselves as human beings and everything we have yet to know about ourselves. Passion makes people sleep with their friends’ partner, passion commits crimes, passion lives inside us dormantly and reveals itself in both ugly and beautiful ways. The volatility of passion is easy to undermine, the human condition hinges on better understanding this.