The quest for Cathay

I. The overseas gamble

It was with great luck that Queen “Reconquista” Isabella of Castille finally accepted to take the gamble on the Trans-Atlantic voyage proposed by Christoforo Columbus—inspired by the travels of Marco Polo…

As a global dimension of the Reconquista, the voyage—if successful—would permit Spain to vanquish its Silk Road rivals after the Grand Inquisitor, Tomás de Torquemada and his Dominican Order, had finally cleared the Windmills and Bullfighting Rings of her domestic enemies—at the time when his Dominicans marched in lockstep to royal commands to convert, repress, expel or torture, the Hebrews and Muslims of Andalusia—the two peoples who had once lived in flamenco Convivencia side by side for generations… peoples impacted by a range of unexpected and serendipitous influences from throughout the empire… Spanish, Flemish, Moorish, Gypsy, Muslim, Jewish… living more or less in harmony…

It was in the Year 1492 that the Reconquistadors had at long last captured the city of Granada, the site of the great Moorish red fortress, Alhambra, built on the Hill of Assabica under the last Nasrid dynasty—thereby expelling across the Straits of Gibraltar, once called the Pillars of Hercules, the Lunar Crescent and the Green Flag of Islam and the Blue Star of David.

That was when it was believed that the Ocean Voyage of Christoforo to Cathay would… once and for all… cut out the cutthroat Ottomans, Persians, Jews, Saracens, Caucasians, Afghans, among other Gog and Magog middlemen, who controlled large swaths of the Silk Road to the mysterious (and profitable) Land of Seres, Land of Silk.

It was hope for hope’s sake. Her Majesty had only agreed to finance the blue water voyage after one of buddies of Columbus at the Court was able to persuade her that France, Portugal, or another power, would eventually fund his journey… even if it was not at all certain—as forewarned by the bureau-rats of the Royal Commission—that Columbus would ever return from those far away waters in the very Far East—waters that became as dark as soot after the embers of sunset had been snuffed out by overcast clouds…

Cathay, the Queen’s bureau-rats said, was much too far away for any ship to sail… even if were possible to sail there…

II. A raw deal

For his part, Christoforo was certain the Queen had given him a raw deal… Two of the two cramped caravels were named… the Nina (meaning ‘little girl’)… the Pinta (meaning ‘painted woman’)… and the cargo ship was called the Gallega (meaning ‘Galician girl’)…

“Damn!” he thought, these were the “nicknames of whores … Won’t people think that I am a brothel keeper rather than an Admiral of a great fleet!”…

In no way did Columbus want people to think he was a highly decorated pimp overseeing his women of ‘wind and dust’… So he changed the name of the Gallega to ‘Santa Maria’… the very ship of his three tiny, squeaky, ever tacking, ever tipsy, zigzag sea sick vessels, that grounded on a coral reef on the day before Christmas in 1492—and sunk. The landing prevented a mutiny.

III. Discoveries!

What incredible discoveries he had expected to make! Despite the dangers he faced, Visions of Zaitun, the City of Light—the port city with the rainbow colors and shimmering textures of silk—were dancing in his head upon arrival…

And despite the expected 10% surcharge on all mercantile investment, there were such unbelievable treasures for the taking: Salt, pepper, cinnamon, sugar, cloves, ginger, nutmeg… infinite possibilities of trade in precious oils and fragrances of sandalwood, camphor, ambergris, not to overlook rubies, topaz, lapis lazuli and sapphires, silver and gold and pearls and silk… Yes, all the rainbow colors and textures of silk!

If the Catholic Union of Castille and Aragon could find the way to cross the Atlantic directly to Cathay, there would be so much for Queen Isabella to devour once the hefty prices of Oriental goods and Ottoman taxes and cloak and dagger back passages of the barbarian in-between lands of Gog and Magog were cut out of the European effort to seize the Yellow Dragon’s chic chinoiserie from overseas. Spanish trade would then be able to by-pass those peoples that camped with the wild animals beyond the Great Wall of Gorgan… beyond the Bronze Gates expropriated by Alexander the Great along the Silk Road full of banditry, intrigue… Trade with the people of Seres could by-pass those forbidden lands of the Old Man of the Mountain and his shisha and hashish smoking Assassins… by-pass the Silk Road world as explored by Marco Polo— in the quest for ‘Marco’s Millions!’

And once the Crown became even wealthier, it was certain that the consolidated Spanish empire and its Christian Allies would then be able to re-conquer the Holy Lands and put them forever under the Catholic rule of the Universal Empire where the Sun Never Sets…

IV. Disappointment

It took a valiant effort for Christoforo to cross into the unknown disappearing spherical horizon of vast swellings of whirlpools and fire breathing western Dragon-infested waters… Yet never did Christoforo Columbus reach the glorious Celestial Empire that had so captivated the spirits of poets and adventurers…. Never was he able to cover himself with gold and emeralds and rubies…

Despite taking death-defying risks on several voyages, this gallant man, full of virtue, did not at all possess the luck that Marco’s “Million Lies” had promised him. In fact, he obtained almost no rewards whatsoever… And this was, in large part, due to the fact that he hadn’t read the fine print of his contract with Queen “Reconquista” Isabella…

Instead of meeting the sophisticated Seres Silk people themselves, Christoforo discovered the Taino, Lucayab and Arawak peoples on the islands of the “East Indies”—which he had convinced himself were near China…

V. A topographical error

In the quest for Cathay, the pseudo-aristocrat from Genoa… in rivalry with the Italy of Polo’s cousins (Florentine arch-enemies of Venice)… loyally planted the flag of Queen Isabella upon the shores of a newly globalizing new world… the land soon to be named America… after the Florentine cartographer Amerigo Vespucci… with a pseudo-Latin (as opposed to Italian) twist…

This was all in the process of confusing the Taino people for being inhabitants of a “continental province of Cathay” with its nightingales and eight varieties of palms. A common topographic error that would continue to confuse generations of geographically ignorant Europeans and Americans.

VI. Bad luck and troubles

Soon bad luck and troubles would befall a few of these New World explorers… That was when some of the native miscreants grabbed and stewed a number of the excellent sailor traders… In exclaiming the experience of true unlawful carnal knowledge, the natives cried out “A man’s flesh is so good that there is nothing like it in the world!!!”…

Such horror did, however, not deter the Explorers. As Christoforo wanted to please his Queen, he ‘temporarily’ captured, much like Chinese Admiral Zheng He did a few decades before him, a few of these wondrously exotic creatures and sailed them far away, taking them from their friends and family, upon rotten vessels that were not at all as slick as more modern shiny UFOs from Outer Space… Nevertheless, the infidels running along the shore still bellowed out, “Come and look upon the beings of a Celestial race!”

While much of his life had been spent daydreaming of Cathay… and while part of his final years were spent in believing that he had actually discovered the transatlantic route to Cathay—only that there was still a continent in-between—what really counted, above all, was the fact that Christoforo remained loyal to Her Majesty…

VII. “Fair dealing”

Poor… but dignified… Christoforo spoke with true wisdom as he attempted with all his heart to persuade the Queen “Reconquista” Isabella … that it would not be “desirable to take the new world by plunder”… that it would be only by “fair dealing”… that all the gold of the New World would reach Her Majesty’s treasury… and without the loss of a single sparkling grain…

He spoke the Truth: “He who possesses [gold] has all he needs in the world”… The possession of gold also provides “the means of rescuing souls from purgatory and restoring them to the enjoyment of paradise”… Columbus had so wisely counselled… It was far better “to reconcile and convert” than to plunder those cities “more inland towards Cathay”… or “near the Ganges”…

Too bad he wasn’t able to convert the real Conquistadors to the Truth! Hernán Cortés and Francisco Pizarro paid no attention to his wise advice. And neither did the Queen “Reconquista” Isabel herself!

VIII. Voice of experience

Columbus had spoken from experience. After braving the mosquito-infested vapors of the unknown, his savvy sailors, much more street smart than Christoforo himself, began to speak to the locals… They were very quick to learn how to barter glass beads, dishes, plates, keys, leather straps and other trinkets… for more ‘useless’ things such as cotton, gold, and dried leaves (soon to be called “tobacco”)… at least in the minds of the locals.

Such a truck was something that Columbus himself had no interest… the deep and moral thinker that he was.

The dilemma, however, was that Christoforo, as weaponized as he was as compared to the natives, was unable to force the natives to supply him with enough gold for his investors—even after torturing and killing off a good number and enslaving the rest… Become dead men and women walking, the Taino and other native peoples were devastated by smallpox and other European pandemics… Those plagues did much of the dirty work so the Europeans did not have to lift a finger…

IX. A mere footnote of history

Despite his lies of an aristocratic heritage intended to bring him favor at Queen Isabel’s court, he never made the fortune that Marco’s “million lies” had seemed to promise him. Nevertheless, he did—eventually—obtain a magnificent monumental tombstone in Seville which was held way above Spanish ground by the kings of each of the four great Spanish kingdoms—Castille, Aragon, Navara and Leon—who had finally, after centuries of combat against each other, begun to march in step in his lifetime.

In the meantime, his family sued the Spanish Crown to obtain all the rights and monies that Christoforus and his family had been promised… Yet Christoforo himself had really preferred to be buried in his newfound West Indies—even if the islands weren’t even close to Cathay!

The truth was that Christoforo… after scrawling copious notes in Latin on his personal copy of Polo’s tome… just didn’t have what it takes to follow in the footsteps of Marco Polo―one of the greatest con artists of all history!

It is true that Christoforo was fortunate in that his pseudo-aristocratic neck had miraculously been saved from mutinous hanging upon that frantic first voyage after the lucky sight of the ever-promised terra firma… His one moment of true Fortuna…

And despite predictions of doom, he was able to return to Spain to proclaim scientifically… with real facts at the tips of his fingers… that the planet was not round as Ptolemy claimed… Instead, it was shaped like a ‘woman’s nipple on a round ball.’

A sexist claim in his own words… that would not go down in the annals of modern science… only a mere footnote of history…

X. How, when, where and why should the Truth be told?

Who’s Lies were the biggest Lies? The “Million Lies” of Polo’s Description of the World or Travels (or Il Milione in Italian) designed to sell his book and boost his name and monstrous ego in the annals of history? The Man who claimed that he served as an arms provider and secret agent man for the Great Kublai Khan—the leader of the Mongol Empire that vanquished China, Kievan Rus, and much of Eurasia???

Or the Lies of Christoforus … the not-so-proud son of a weaver, wine merchant and cheese vender… the man with a huge chip on his shoulder… who lied by pretending to be a noble descendent of the Italian Count Columbo so he could obtain recognition for his venture to sail to China by the Portuguese or Spanish courts … and who then, like a typical two-faced forked tongue, lied about his not-so-not-violent exploitative encounter with the locals…

Over time, the Lies of these two opportunists, Marco and Christoforo, flipped back and forth between different not-so-politically correct ‘black’ and ‘white’ forms. All was done in the effort to make their names in history—as rapidly as political chameleons can change the color of their skin in epoch after epoch of Color Wars, magically transforming their previous policies and beliefs by adopting the many Lies of the new flags they would now fight for… without anyone noticing… or really… without anyone being able to do a thing about it…

Both Polo and Columbus claim that without their Lies, they would not have been able to achieve their glorious goals—that they needed to tell their Lies for the purpose of “Human Progress”. Would Columbus, for example, have discovered the “New World”—and the roots of the American Dream—if he had not been inspired by Polo’s Lies, which, in turn, inspired his own?

How, when, where and why do Lies prove necessary? How, when, where and why are they justified? For what kind of “Human Progress”—for whom and for what? How, when, where and why should the Truth not be told? How, when, where and why should Lies be stretched? What if Little Lies are stretched so far as to become Big Lies? What if those Lies continue to be stretched into even Bigger Lies?

How, when, where and why should the Truth be told? And what if the Truth is finally admitted or exposed—regardless of the consequences?