After the Coronavirus began in Wuhan, the Chinese government provided one model for containment and elimination: complete lockdown. This model was not felt to be satisfactory to most Western democracies and soon the expression “herd immunity” began to be mentioned quite frequently. The UK toyed with the idea. Sweden seems to be suffering from it. Basically, the concept meant that, in lieu of a vaccine, folks should just go about their normal, everyday experiences and whoever caught the virus would either die or become immune. If about 60% of a population could catch and survive the virus, and become immune to it for a substantial amount of time, this would spell the end of the disease in that population.

The problem was that herd immunity was, basically, abandoning the infirm and elderly to a death sentence. Also, many folks who catch the virus require hospitalization and any real herd immunity experiment would severely tax or overwhelm any nation’s health care system. Additionally, we saw in the USA that the most vulnerable to the disease were often folks who had been marginalized by the economic and political system. Herd immunity in the USA would have meant massive amounts of poor and minority folks dying while middle class and affluent white folks kept on, well, being middle class and affluent white folks.

If the Chinese model was the most conservative and effective, the Swedish model seemed to mesh the best with Western values. Social distancing was recommended, but schools, shops, gyms, bars and cafes were not shut down. The mortality rate is, however, higher than it is in the USA, where the Coronavirus response can only be labeled highly incompetent and irresponsible.

It has been disheartening for me to see what has been happening in the Western democracies, as I had hoped that folks would step up and realize that during this time of crisis every citizen needed to make some sacrifices for the common good and to show some self-restraint for, at most, two or three months. Many folks have and many folks have not. Coming back from overseas and seeing fellow Americans unprepared, not even wearing masks, mislead by their leadership, has hurt me deeply. To see my countrymen and women so unprepared and so misguided, has made me deeply depressed.

I am assuming, however, that deep depression and loss of faith in your government can, at the very least, lead to good satire. After chatting with a Chinese friend of mine about the situation in Sweden, I found myself, the next morning, singing: “We need some herd immunity! Herd immunity!” Having enjoyed satire my entire life, I was thus motivated, in the spirit of Tom Lehrer, Phil Ochs, Steve Goodman and John Prine to write my own satirical song on herd immunity. I present it to you below. If you have a guitar or piano or even feel like clapping, you are welcome to sing my little ditty with as much gusto as you can. Feel free to perform it, record it, put it on YouTube, as our way of protesting the irresponsible lack of leadership that helped allow this virus to kill so many innocent people.

Herd Immunity. A satirical song

We need some herd immunity! Herd immunity!
Give that little COVID some opportunity.
Let it spread its little lovin' germs from sea to sea!
Watch the young and healthy thrive, goodbye dear elderly.

We need to boost the economy, boost the economy.
So park your little butt down here right next to me.
Blow on me honey, just blow on me honey.
And the country’s out of debt and rollin' in the money!

I don’t live my monied life irresponsibly.
I'm doin' what I'm sposed to do, takin' care of me.
So sorry for those who get sick through poverty.
But I'm a victim of this too, I can’t make more money!

I know what you’re thinking punk, but this is just the flu.
Thousands die of that each year so what the umph is new.
We don’t need a cure that keeps our business prospects few.
Our leader says bleach and disinfectant gets us through.

I need a haircut, some bowling, no mask for me.
No work tomorrow, let's have a cocktail party.
It’s been the finest vacation you will ever see.
But now open up your windows and shout COVID come for me!

It’s time to do our patriotic duty everywhere.
Take off the N-95 and breathe contaminated air.
Let's set up COVID stations, since testing kits are rare.
Suck up those germs and show America you care.

We need some herd immunity! Herd immunity!
Give that little COVID some opportunity.
Let it spread its little lovin' germs from sea to sea!
Watch the young and healthy thrive, goodbye dear elderly.