I once thought my match would be born between the years of 1977 to 1979. Even throughout school, my boyfriends were either in my grade or the one above me. On top of that, I used to judge. Why can’t she find someone her own age? Boy, did I eat my words.
Is He Too Young for Me?
When I was 26, I found myself in graduate school with a broken engagement, a cat and a desire to not get serious again anytime soon.
That same week, I attended a college party where a tall, handsome young man wearing a Hawaiian shirt caught my eye. That was unexpected. He had just finished his freshman year and was only 19. Yes, we had a seven-year age gap.
Obviously he was too young for me, yet, for two weeks, we were inseparable. I thought I was in the “safe zone” because after all, what teenager thought about marriage and kids? He’d not want anything serious and neither did I at the time.
Our summer was filled with parties, concerts and staying up all hours of the night – a far cry from what people my age were doing.
He awakened my vivacious spirit and I suddenly felt younger, happier and more alive than I had in years. After ageing from the stress of my previous relationship, I found my personal fountain of youth. It was good to be back.
Am I Too Old for Him?
Reality kicked in once I realized the relationship had a future. Although cliché, I had plans and a clock that was ticking. I told him that I wanted to be married before 30 and have two children by 35.
I remember hearing him swallow hard after that one. He told me he’d think about it and I worried I’d scared off one of the best people to come into my life.
The good news was that three years later we became husband and wife at ages 22 and 29. I was still in my twenties and he could legally drink at our wedding, so things were off to a good start.
Should Every Woman Date a Younger Man?
My personal recommendation does not focus on age, but instead on finding the right person regardless of age. Simply being open to the possibility that an ideal match may be older or younger is a great start.
Are there drawbacks to the situation? Although humorous now, we were anxious about announcing our relationship for fear of judgment. More seriously is feeling the biological clock ticking, but with science, this isn’t the factor that it was 50 years ago. In lesser categories, finding couples to befriend has been difficult when she has an older husband and the gap between his age and my husband’s age is substantial. Lastly, an unexpected turn is when I am the one who wants to go out and he wants an early bedtime – it’s as though we’ve age swapped.
Our Ages Add Up Perfectly
This year marks ten years since we met at that college party. I am now 36, he’s nearly 29 and we have two beautiful boys, ages 2 and 4.
In retrospect, I’m sure that when it came to marriage and children, he probably started that chapter in life sooner than he dreamed he would. Looking forward, I’m sure I’ll feel pressure as I start to show my age and he appears visibly younger. All other factors considered, we are such a perfect fit personality-wise that our ages truly don’t factor.
In fact, our gap has led to surprising benefits. For example, I built my career before children and now live my dream of staying home with them while my husband focuses on his career. We have absolutely no competition over whose job is more important, and instead, we play leapfrog, take turns, and skillfully tag-team through life.
Sure, we still laugh that my favorite childhood movie came out before he was born, or that his favorite song in middle school was the same song I loved in college. Even my dad’s dad (Papaw) has said, “Women live longer than men, so why not?”
So okay, I’ll have laugh lines before he does, but only because I’ve spent my years happy with the right person.